Psychotherapy • Consultation • EMDR
Last time I talked about the brain’s negativity bias, the innate tendency of our primitive threat systems to focus on problems and dangers (both imagined and real). But our brains are also equipped with reward centers, also relatively primitive, which focus on short-term gratification and basic pleasures, such as eating, drinking, and having sex. These…
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The human brain didn’t evolve for dispassionately finding truth, but for ensuring our survival. It has built-in biases in the way it processes information, and neuroscience has identified specific ways in which it lies to us about what’s happening around us. These falsehoods create a lot of suffering for us. In this and the next…
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Aaron comes into therapy because he’s stymied by constant fear. He hates his job, but won’t look for a new one because he’s afraid of job interviews. Whenever he’s in a social situation and sees someone he’s attracted to, he avoids him completely for fear of being rejected. He wants to join a gym, but…
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(Written the week of the Pulse massacre in Orlando, Florida.) Maybe we’d become too complacent. I think I had. We’ve all known what it feels like to be unsafe in the world, and we’ve known how much it hurts to be “otherized” – to be evicted from the circle of “us” and to be treated…
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It probably won’t surprise anyone that an optimistic outlook is good for your physical and emotional well-being. Optimists react to problems with a sense of confidence in their ability to respond effectively to the challenges in their lives. They are hopeful about the future, and believe that their personal problems, as well as those of…
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If you’re having a bad day, what is the best way to boost your mood? Will you be more likely to feel better if you do something to treat yourself, or will you feel better if you focus on doing something nice for others? Psychologists have actually researched this question, and have come up with…
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Are human beings basically good or bad? My colleague, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson believes that science can answer this age-old question. He points out: “When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting state,…
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Ted was one of the few people of color in the small Midwestern town where he grew up. He was also gay, and was targeted because of it even before he was old enough to understand what the word meant. He was beaten up badly a few times as a child, but the most emotionally…
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Recently, my friend David told me “My pumpkin spice latte syndrome is back.” He was referring to the fact that every year, just about the time his coffee shop starts serving pumpkin lattes, he begins to feel sluggish, blue, and irritable; and his down mood persists, off and on, through the winter months. He’s…
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If you’ve recently suffered a traumatic event, such as the loss of a relationship, or a serious medical diagnosis (and I’ve talked with many people who are having classic post-traumatic stress responses to the recent election) you may also be feeling surprise and confusion, not just because of the event itself, but because of the…
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