Psychotherapy • Consultation • EMDR
As I wrote last time, it’s a truism that if we want to be happy today we have to find some acceptance and peace with the pain and disappointments of the past; and that two powerful methods for achieving that acceptance are practicing forgiveness and cultivating gratitude. Last time I talked about forgiveness. This time…
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This film takes us back to the basics. The dual themes are huge and simple: love and the terror of it. A sprout of love that is playful, tender, rough and hot struggles to thrive in terrain that is bleak, forbidding, silent and cold. Along the way we see the terrible destructiveness of homophobia –…
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Q: When my boyfriend and I moved in together last year, he only did it on the condition that I promise to be monogamous with him. At first we argued about it because I’ve never understood why he’s so hung up on being sexually exclusive with one man.. For me, one of the best things…
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Oscar Wilde once said, “In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” This remark reminds me of the two most common questions I hear from gay men. The first is ‘How can I find a lover?’ The second, once they find one,…
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Q: I’ve been an alcoholic for several years, and it’s starting to mess up my life. I‘m less effective at work, and I’ve had some fights with my boyfriend about my drinking. I went to a few AA meetings, but what they do isn’t for me! You see, I was raised in a strict fundamentalist…
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I received a number of responses to a recent column (Can I get Sober Without AA?) in which I wrote that, for some problem drinkers, a return to controlled drinking is a realistic goal. Some readers were skeptical, a few were angry, and others asked for more information. As Pride month celebrations wind down, many…
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Q. I had a horrible break-up with my boyfriend a few years back. He got heavily into crystal meth and alcohol, and suddenly I was the enemy. He assaulted me verbally every day, and physically more than once. He slandered me to my friends and even tried to get me fired from my job by…
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Research shows that this minority orientation has the following profile: The trait is a “stable bimophism.” It occurs in all human populations as two orientations, expressed behaviorally. About 92% of the population has the majority orientation, and 8% has the minority orientation. The historical evidence suggests that both orientations have existed for at least five…
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What makes people happy? No question is of more practical importance to all of us. In recent decades, researchers have studied the happiness of lack of it or more than a million people in every age group and in almost every culture in the world. Two psychologists, David Myers and Ed Diener, recently sifted through…
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Christian de la Huerta is a man with a vision. Cuban-born, and displaced by Castro’s revolution, he achieved in the U.S. all the trappings of success –the hot lover, high-paying job, fabulous condo, sports car, Armani suits. Abruptly one day, feeling the emptiness of his life, and responding to an inner call, he walked away…
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