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Tom Moon, M.F.T. Author: Tom Moon

Author: Tom Moon

Whose Side Are You On?

Are you on our own side? I don’t mean are you on your own side against others but rather, are you consistently loyal to your own well-being and highest good? When you make mistakes, are you self-forgiving and patient with yourself, or are you angry and self-punitive? When you go through hard times do you…

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Problems with Intimacy

Patrick hopes that therapy will rid him of his “problems with intimacy,” which he assumes must be the result of the insecurities he acquired from growing up in a dysfunctional family. He takes it for granted that his “trust issues” and the other difficulties he has in his relationships are evidence that he’s crazy. After…

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Cultivating an Inner Protector

Eckhart Tolle, in his modern classic, The Power of Now, writes: “You have probably come across ‘mad’ people in the street incessantly talking or muttering to themselves. Well, that’s not much different from what you and all other ‘normal’ people do, except that you don’t do it out loud. The voice comments, speculates, judges, compares,…

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Being, Doing, and Depression

Henry has been feeling down for days, and is afraid that he may be sliding into another severe depression. His last bout, his third, was paralyzing and debilitating, and cost him his boyfriend. He’s fighting his mood by alternately trying to suppress it and struggling to think his way out of it, mostly through rumination…

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Do Just One Thing

I’ve said before that most psychological self-help books aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. But once in a while a book comes along that really has the power to change our lives for the better. One such book is Just One Thing, by Rick Hanson. Rick is both a neuropsychologist and a meditation teacher,…

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You Say “Dependent” Like it’s a Bad Thing

Eric has been single for five years. As a relationship-oriented guy he longs to connect with someone new, but he won’t let himself do it because he believes he isn’t “ready.” “Until I’m completely secure and whole in myself, and not dependent on anyone else to complete me, I won’t be able to be healthy…

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Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: When the Brain Locks Up

At first, Kevin’s focus on having safe sex seemed to him a reasonable and healthy concern, since he was, after all, a gay man in a city where many men are HIV positive. Gradually, though, his fears became increasingly intense, until he reached a point where, after every sexual experience, he felt terrified that he…

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Tragic Romantics, the Enneagram Fours

At 42, Stewart finds himself single again. “I’ve fallen in love almost once every year since I was twelve,” he tells me, “and by now I’ve had at least twenty ‘soul mates.’ But I’ve never had a relationship last longer than six months. It always starts out so great, but in every relationship I’m the…

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